Invading Dublin Part 2

A free tour of Dublin

When the morning came Martina and I went down to the breakfast hall together where we saw a few fellow travelers. While we were having breakfast we tried to persuade a few other trip members to come with us on the free city walking tour. Even though we did our utmost best we failed to be persuasive enough to convince our company of last night to come with us. However we managed to get three others with us. Andrea, Moña Lisa, Alora and another girl whose name I have managed to forget.

Regrettably it started raining pretty heavily when we had nearly reached the place from where the free tour would start. By the point we actually started the tour my shoes, socks and feet were thoroughly soaked and since it wasn’t warm (like in the tropics) my first thought was: “great, we’re off to a great start.” Which was quickly followed by: “Well things can’t get any worse”. I am glad to say that I was right. Things got only better from there.

As soon as we were divided into groups we moved on to the first stop: beside “City Hall” and in front of Dublin Castle. At was at this point that we got a light-speed version of the Irish history: Starting with settlers from about 9000 years ago. As very little was known about these people we fairly quickly made the step to the Celtic invaders about 5500 years later. The Celts as a people have made a lasting influence on the people. Games, music are but a few things that still persist of the Celtic culture. The rest of Europe had another great civilization rising in the meantime that sought to expand and conquer: The Romans. The influence they had on Ireland was to bring Christianity. Saint Patrick, whose name is still remembered all over the world by drinking large doses of alcoholic drinks on “his” day, was the most successful converter. And under Christianity great relics and wealth started to accumulate in Ireland. It had become a target for raiders. Enter the Vikings. The Vikings had risen and started raiding the coast of many a European country. Ireland was not an exception. Eventually the Vikings even founded settlements in Ireland. Now after the Vikings came the Norman (the very same people that took England under William the conqueror) when a local Lord (Dermot) had lost his power in Ireland and requested the help of Norman knights to win back his territories. And thus it was that Richard “Strongbow” de Clare under the Normans came to Ireland. Now all these people had come to live beside one another in harmony until unrest came in the form of the power struggle between the English and the Irish under the guise of a religious struggle between the Protestants and the Catholics. This pretty much went on until the independence of Ireland, but before we went into more detail about those fascinating topics we moved on into Dublin Castle.

Before we went on with the rest of the tour our guide told us that he was not going to bother us with meticulous detail, lists of names and dates. He would tell us the most interesting stories and the weird ones. He hoped that after we left we would remember Dublin for those stories.
In Dublin Castle our guide Kieran continued his stories with the struggles between the Irish and the English, the Catholics and Protestants. He told about the Castle’s main function as Administrative office and Court of Justice. He made sure to point out the peculiar statue of Lady Justice on top of the gate where we had entered the castle. Lady Justice had turned her face away from and her back to the public while facing the Castle courtyard. Additionally Lady Justice was not blindfolded as if to say that Justice was not indiscriminate at that Court. On top of that Lady Justice was brandishing her sword instead of holding it point down or in a defensive posture. This was a clear representation of the situation. The English (Protestants) were in power, dealt justice and did not shy aggressive action against the Irish in those times. Since this power struggle had taken so long he told us of a few of those that happened before the Independence and visits at Dublin Castle by many well-known political figures like Queen Elizabeth and Barack Obama (who apparently has Irish roots; according to Kieran all famous people are found to have ties to the Irish by the Irish ). The first story he told us here was of the Easter Rising taking place during WW1. The Irish decided to take advantage of the fact that England had bigger fish to fry and tried to win their independence. Sadly the Rebellion failed. Throughout the day Kieran would make clear that the Irish were not known for their successful rebellions. Apparently all that could go wrong during the rising went wrong. The leaders had arranged for German weapons to come. The weapons made it to Ireland, but the rebels failed to pick them up in time and rather than have the weapons fall into English hands the German captain decided to sink the ship. Following this disaster only a minor group of about 17 people decided to continue with the Rising. However the English were aware of the plans for a rising (an article had appeared in the paper!) and reckoned it would happen at night. The Irish though, ever the smart rebels, decided to attack at noon coming to the City center with public transport! Since the English were not expecting the attack to come at noon and certainly not after the Irish lost the weapons the garrison was out at noon and as if by miracle the castle is taken. But instead of staying in the more easily defended fort the Irish decide to leave for Town Hall when they became paranoid due to the English absence. When the English came back they surrendered within a brief span of time and that was that.

While en route to the Dubh linn garden in front of the Chester Beatty library we stopped at one of the towers which had obviously been a jail back in the day. Here Kieran told us shortly about the nine years war. This was a power struggle between Irish chieftains and the English. To gain control over the Irish chieftains the English took hostages from the most prominent ruling clans. But how do you capture an Irishman to take him hostage. Well, all that was needed was an invitation for drinking wine aboard a vessel. And the following saying of our guide proved true: “It’s not that we have a drinking problem. We just love drinking and forget to stop.” The Irish lads drank, passed out and woke up in an English prison. They escaped in a Shawshank redemption manner (during winter) and the survivors reached their homes to start the rebellion.

The next stop was the Garden in front of the Chester Beatty library where a beautiful pattern was made with a brick path. Here he told us that the garden was also a helipad and the library was stacked with old manuscripts from all over the world (naturally I decided to visit it thoroughly when I had the chance). Then we moved on through a passage towards the Christ Church Cathedral. Now apparently in that passageway the shooting scene from the movie “PS I love you” was shot there. And Jonathan Swift was born near there as well. In the passageway Kieran told us of the Great Famine that wiped out nearly half of the Irish population. It was however a famine felt most among the Irish as they (Catholics) were not allowed to own land in that period and all grown was exported to England. The great source of food for the Irish, the potato, was struck by a disease leaving the Irish starving. In this period Jonathan Swift, known for his satires, wrote a story in which he stated and proposed the following: The Irish were poor due to a lack of funds and too many mouths to feed in every family. How could they solve this problem? Well by providing the English with food they loved: red meat. The Irish could go on having babies, but after the family had reached a certain size the youngest born would be sold to the English after his milk drinking period was over. The Irish would have fewer mouths to feed, more money to feed the family and the English would have more red meat. The message of this gruesome story: The English were treating the Irish in an inhuman way so why not implement this plan as well and make of the Irish truly cattle. It was a chastisement of the English by Jonathan Swift.

After this cheery story we went to the “Christ Church Cathedral” where we were told how the Irish worshipped there. Kieran told us that they had a bar in that Church. Now I can’t quite remember how it got there (according to the story), but since men went to drink there they missed more strong drinks and so a man decided to open a whiskey distillery. The men were beside themselves with joy. However this “picture of sin” was not complete yet. No, it would become worse. A woman saw a business opportunity. How can you make coin from a pack of drunk and probably horny men? She decided to open a brothel and a great contradiction was born. A church where Tyrion would be glad to pay his respects and pray to the Lord. This could not go well for long as you may imagine. An accident caused the church to burn down. During restoration a cat and rat were found in organ pipes and they were therefore the topic of the next interesting story. Due to the dry air in the pipe the cat and rat that got stuck were locked in an eternal chase as they were mummified. The current father in charge decided to keep them and they can still be seen in the crypt of the Church. The Irish “Tom and Jerry”.

Getting tired yet of reading all these fun facts? :P Well there is loads to come yet.

Next stop was the area known as Temple Bar where U2 was reputably discovered. They visited a chic hotel when they had been signed by a producer who had heard them play at in that very street. They were denied service as they did not looked chic enough and Bono replied with: “We will become famous, come back and buy this hotel.” Guess who owns that hotel right now and most of the other places on that block?

Another fun fact: Ireland was quite rich in a period of time. Regrettably the money was spend on some crazy projects. First let me tell you about the, too late to be called (turns out the Irish have issues with being on time), Milennium Spire. The large spike in the middle of the most prominent street, the O’Connel street of which the top lights up at night. What is it good for. Kieran jokingly suggested that it was used by the Irish, too drunk to properly navigate, as a homing beacon. Due to its very “erect” nature it gained a couple of other names among the Irish. Chief among them: “the erection at the intersection” and “the Stiffey on the Liffey (prominent river crossing Dublin)”. Another great project was a clock that was placed in the Liffey which would light up if you threw a coin (I think it was a penny) in a box. Now once you have seen the water of the Liffey you would understand the absurdity of that idea. The water is really dark and murky. Needless to say that the project failed and the clock was removed. In that time some sort of prankster had placed a plaque near a collection box for a certain father Pat Noise. No one knew where it came from but the City council was not amused (they had searched annals for that person and found out the dear father had never existed), so they removed the plaque and box. But the Irish protested. They loved their father Pat. And after a petition father Pat was reinstated and his plaque can be seen on the O’Connel bridge.

By this time the sun had started shining, my wet feet were mostly forgotten (although they were still cold) and I was really enjoying the walk and stories. The next stop would prove to be very interesting as well. We went to Trinity college. A beautiful complex of old buildings where a EU-member could go to college for about 2000 in Tuition fees per year. It has a great history and many famous people seemed to have been there including Jonathan Swift. Now in those times when the power struggle was still going on it was a college strictly for Protestants. Catholics wouldn’t want to be seen dead there. Reputably there had been a rule that you were allowed to shoot any Catholic you saw on the premises with a crossbow (I know, talk about overreacting). Another great taboo was female scholars. A former headmaster had said something like: “While I live no female shall walk the grounds of this Institution as a scholar. Females will not be enrolled.” He had said this when things were starting to look like exactly that would happen. I guess he got his wish. As soon as he was dead the changes were made allowing female students to grace the halls of Trinity college. And now I have come to one of the nicest fun facts of that day. Trinity college has a very old library in very good condition. It even impressed George Lucas to the point he wanted to use it in Star Wars. According to Kieran he photographed the whole place after having been denied filming there and he digitally reproduced the library as the Jedi Archives. How’s that for awesome!

After Trinity college Kieran took us to the Parliament buildings where coincidentally some museums were located. Here he concluded the tour by telling us the tale of how Ireland were their independence. Smart Guerilla tactics decimated the English forces and even their intelligence agency (the MI6 of that time) was thwarted. After too many losses the English finally relented. Ireland could have their independence. When Michael Collins, the mastermind behind the tactics, went to Dublin Castle to sign the treaty and the English representative mentioned that he was seven minutes late (Mr. Collins was indeed late) he replied: “The Irish have been kept waiting for 700 years. Surely you can stand to wait seven minutes.”

Wow! I just scrolled back and must say I had not realized I had written this much already and the day wasn’t over yet. You know what. I’ll leave the rest of the day for the next install.
Ciao! Sarajan out and off to eat before resuming studies.